can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
