I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize