First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
