He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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