why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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