where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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