whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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