i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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