You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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