i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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