I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize