Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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