Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games

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(503): View more from Oregon

That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour

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(210): View more from Texas

I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink

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(301): View more from Maryland

I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables

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(585): View more from New York

remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.

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(616): View more from Michigan

She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.

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(409): View more from Texas

I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.

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(587): View more from Alberta

How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum

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(513): View more from Ohio

The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch

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