he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
