Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
