Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
