didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
