Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
