doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
