How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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