You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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