i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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