would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
this will be a night to untag.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
