Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
