My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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