Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
