Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
