pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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