You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
as a side note pls kill me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
