is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
