Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
