I didn't shave. On purpose
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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