jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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