you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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