Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we're making bets on your personal life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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