This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
