he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize