Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
