I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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