i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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