I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
