Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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