If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
