He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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