I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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