I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she told me i tasted like america
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
NoShamevember. You game?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
