I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Success! We fucked roommates!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
