He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
