I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
