At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
