i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
