Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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