I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
