I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
