kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
