the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
