I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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