why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
