I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
