4 words: hood of his car
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Randomize
