i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
