They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
