sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
