She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize