There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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