you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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