Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Bring me that man meat
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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