Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
